Here’s a band 9.0 answer for the IELTS Writing Task 1 describing a bar chart.
The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar chart shows the estimated population of elephants across nine different Asian countries in two different years – 1997 and 2004. In all but two countries, the populations declined during this time.
In both years, the largest elephant population was in India; however, the population decreased by about a quarter during the period. An even great loss was suffered in Malaysia and Thailand, where there was a more than fifty percent decrease in elephant numbers, and China experienced the loss of approximately half its population, too. Vietnam, Sri Lanka, and Myanmar all avoided such heavy losses, losing no more than a tenth of their populations.
Not all of the countries included in the bar chart experience population declines. Two countries with small elephant populations – Laos and Cambodia – resisted the trend. The number of elephants in Laos remained the same in 2004 as it had done in 1997, and Cambodia, which had slightly more elephants than Laos in 1997, actually experienced a small increase in their population, recording approximately 1,500 elephants in 2004.
Word count: 174
In the above essay, I have used the words “elephant” and “population” a little too frequently. It is difficult to substitute these words without sounding too vague. Remember that while it is important to avoid repetition, it is also important to be precise. I could have changed “elephants” to “animals,” but it might have implied that I was talking about all animals.